New York, New York

New York


OK. I haven'’t been very visible, that is I haven't been writing much lately. I'’m told it's a marathon letdown. Everything seems slightly overwhelming!

Let me tell you about it. I went to Philadelphia to my "“country home" a week ago for tons and tons of meetings and routine medical appointments. I mean, way more meetings than you should schedule in six days time.

Phase One began with my kids arriving for a meeting with me about my living will and advanced directives, that is, what my wishes about a dignified death if I am incapacitated. "“OK",” said my youngest son, Ben, when I asked him to put the date on his calendar. "Let me get this right. You want me to make a commitment to meet with your lawyer and folks six months out, then arrive on time in Philadelphia from New York on a Sunday afternoon, and finally, you want me to talk about your death which isn'’t something I want to do particularly. Is that right?"

It was. And he did. And so did his big brother, Chris. And they were champions at meeting the challenge of learning about my wishes before a crisis occurred even though it meant, I assume, a good deal of awkwardness for them ( And, for the record, there's no crisis looming. Remember me? I'm the one who just finished the marathon. Just a planner, that's all. )

I have a healthcare background, and have seen the chaos created if there are no directives. In fact, the classic legal cases that led to state-required living wills was the death of two women, Karen Ann Quinlen and Peggy Cruzan, both of whom were actually under 30 years of age. So, I'm a big believer in talking about death and dying well before there is a crisis. Maybe that sounds dark. But since I'’ve been lecturing on living wills since 1996, to med students, 50+ adults, geriatric specialists, I'm amazed at the small number of folks who actually have advanced directives--—something like 11 million.

My sons left for D.C., and I started two days of meetings. And then, I began dealing with property issues. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of a dehumidifier after it'’s died?

I didn'’t. I naively left it out with the trash to be picked up by the garbage brigade. It's been there for two weeks. Yesterday, the driver told me he coudn't take it because it was " against regulations." How would I get rid of this benign-looking, but clearly toxic object? It took me many hours and several phone calls to understand my options. 1) pay Waste Management, Inc $60 to haul it away ( over half the price of the product ); 2) Hack the dead machine, especially the compressor and copper tubes that hold the vapor/liquid Freon, into several pieces and conceal it in the trash ; 3) find someone ( no one I talked to ) who would take the dehumidifier, safely extract the Freon from it, and place it in a dumpster with a certificate that proves it does not have Freon; 4) take the whole thing to CVS in the dark of night and put it in the dumpster. I decided to put it back in the garage and deal with it later!

Phase Two, the latter part of the week was full of more property issues. Big storm coming. Tornado warnings. Buckets of rain. ( I live adjacent to a stream. ) Would the 45 mile an hour winds cause a power outage? So, I stayed an extra day to ensure that all systems were “go”.

I arrived back in New York yesterday. Never been so glad to be back here where dehumidifiers and tornadoes hold less angst. Am I becoming an urbanite?
M.C.