Hitting The Wall

Philadelphia

Lance Armstrong is my new inspiration for recovery, for returning to sports--and life writ large.

Let me set the record straight, though. My surgery didn't involve cancer that had metastasized to the brain. Or debilitating chemo. But those facts make his recovery alone amazing. His return to sports remarkable.

In an interview a couple of years ago, Armstrong talked about the early weeks when he returned to training for the Tour de France. "I was heading up a half mile hill, having a little trouble midway up. Next thing I knew, some 45+ year old woman passed me. It was humiliating, but I had to just stay with my game plan."

I thought of that scene yesterday.

In the morning, I stepped onto the cross trainer at the gym for the first time since surgery
( with my surgeon' blessing ). I was thrilled to be able to sweat a little bit!

The thing about post op recovery after a major procedure is that is that it's hard to gauge how much is enough for your body--vis-a-vis toning and strengthening. The answer generally doesn't come until a few hours after the activity--an empirical method for sure since everyone varies. My time on the cross trainer was short--by pre-op standards.

Apparently my body didn't think it was short enough. By late morning, I had some pretty significant pain. I ignored it for awhile, resisting pain meds because it seems like such a defeat, such a step back, and I don't like the way I feel when I take them.

Finally, I gave in to taking a Vicodin ( my first pain med in over a week ) with lunch to quell my body's response to my cardio attempt. Didn't work, though. The thing about waiting too long to take a pain med is that it doesn't always do the trick.

So, by early afternoon, I took another dose, laid down, and ruminated about the slow recovery; muttering "one step forward, two steps backward; tomorrow will be better; it's only been two weeks". The day ended in a bit of a fog but finally the pain subsided.


And, today is a new day. Less is more. Just adjust. ( Isn't self-talk great? ) This morning I signed up for a sprint triathlon in August. Four months away. Good to have something to look forward to.

But God bless Lance, this world class guy, who found the courage to talk about his vulnerability, his fears, his struggle to "come back". He's my absolute role model for the next three months.

But, I guess my timing is right for this yoyo-ing/struggle, though. It is Holy Week and Passover, right?
M.C.